Happy Holidays!!!

Hello Friends!!!  I know it has been a while, but have been a little busy.  Christmas was a wonder.  Tony, Kourtney, BamBam and I spent it at home.  Christmas Eve we went to Rockefeller Center to see the skaters and the Tree.  I was very crowded but, also, very magical.  We enjoy going there each year.  Then came the real fun, came home, watch "Christmas Story" and read "The Night Before Christmas" and went to bed to wait for Santa.  He came here around 3AM, lol. Yes, Tony and I both are big kids when it comes to Christmas.  Everyone got lots of nice things.  We spent a relaxing day watching movies and just being together.  Then came the snow, it came and came and came.  I actually got a little nervous during the height of the blizzard, it started to thunder and lightening, I didn't know that happened during a snow storm.  We got up this morning to around 25" of snow.  Thank goodness we don't have to shovel.  Our neighbors have spent all day shoveling out their cars and driveways, some are still doing it. 

Now we get ready for New Years.  We don't have plans to go anywhere or do anything.  Probably ring it in here at home.  We went to Times Square once on New Year's Eve and well, while we enjoyed it, it was one of those things you want to do once, but once is enough.  As for resolutions, of course I plan to get back to my eating healthier and I have made a decision as to working.  I do not want to go out to a job/career.  My family is too important to me, however, i will be working.  I have decided to become a Nanny for my neighbors son.  I love children and also feel as though I will be helping a young family.  They are a wonderful couple and the baby is awesome.  The opportunity to help to shape a young life and to help a Mom and Dad out is something I feel will be rewarding.  Tony and I have alot of plans for the year, but we will definitely be staying in this area.  We haved come to the conclusion that this is our "HOME", not Florida, not North Carolina.  Those places are of our past, this is our now and our future. 

I hope everyone has a fantastic New Year and remember, be Positive, Smile and be Happy!!!  Live, Laugh and Love!!!!!

Suzi

Thinking!!!

This blog has got me thinking. 

Made me feel that I had to find something to write about, lol.  Well, I think it worked, I have been doing alot of thinking.  It is time to make some decisions about life.  I realize I have been sitting in the middle of the open doors.  The past should be totally closed and the future wide open, but instead, the doors to both have been swinging for years.  I have spent way to much time trying to go back and "correct" the past.  From childhood thru my "grownup" years.  I have yet to let go of the "childhood" years.  My childhood was not all bad, by any means.  I can remember laughing and playing, but I also remember the pain and being terrified.  I can remember just wanting someone to understand, I just needed love and attention.  You see, no one ever really talked to the kids about things that were going on in life, I remember the racial riots in my town.  Was a horrible and confusing time.  I believed my dad when he said, "everyone is sleeping with a gun and one eye open."  I don't think I slept for about 5 years, crying and just wanting my mom or dad to come and comfort me.  But to them, I was just a bad child.  Well, I could go on and on, but that is not what this blog is about.  I think part of it is that I never felt a part of a family, not even when I was married or having children.  I have let those feelings follow me thru out my life.  But, no more.  That is what this is all about.  I have decided to let go, realize that I am important and what I want in life is just as important as everyone else. Maybe I didn't get the love and attention that I thought I needed in my past, but that is the past.  Time to close those doors, lock them tight and swing the new doors wide open. 

As for the new doors, they have been open, I have tried to step though and have even been over the threshold a few time, but something always pulls me back.  When I start to go thru those doors, someone from the past always tries to make me feel guilty, accusing me of moving on without them.  Is not that I want to go without those in my past, but I do want to move forward and they don't allow me to do that.  They constantly make me feel guilty and then I pull back.  Time has come to let go, to move forward and be truly happy.  The life I have now is absolutely wonderful and I know that I am loved.  If I can just turn loose of the negativity of the past and yes, even turn loose of those people that try to drag me back into that web of negativity.  I have spent alot of time thinking of what and where I want to be in 5 or 10 years from now.  Yes, I do miss alot of things/people from my past, but my life is different now and some of them just refuse to accept that.  I cannot and will not allow them/that to stop me from living the life I want.  To actually be happy and be what I know I can be.  The door to what I want in life has been open for about 10 years now and I have been too afraid to go thru it and let the doors behind me totally close.  But, that is going to change.  Those that wish to be a part of something that I know will be absolutely wonderful, are invited to come along.  I will not be made to feel guilty for letting go of all the hurt and pain.  I did hurt in my past, hurt so much there were times I didn't want to go on, but I held it all in and tried to adapt.  I am officially letting go of all that pain and letting my life become what it was meant to be.  I am a good person and I will go on and be a happy, healthy and loving person.  When I say, "Life is Wonderful," that is exactly what it is. 

This may seem a little different than what I usually have to say, but it is long overdue in saying.  I am not asking for sympathy, pity, or anything like that, I am just asking for understanding.  Understanding that I have a need, a yearning and a right to live my life the way that makes me happy and complete.  Thanks for reading and hopefully you will be coming along on a beautiful and exciting ride thru life.  Live, Laugh and Love!!!

Waiting for the Holidays!!!

One of my favorite things is the holidays!!! One of my least favorite things is WAITING!!!  I am ready for Christmas, NOW.  Is something about the week before, the week before.  Seems we are in a holding pattern.  I am getting alot done at home, cleaning and decorating, doing the shopping etc.  Starting next week we will be ready to enjoy the holiday.  Finishing up the last minute shopping, baking the cookies and going into Manhattan and enjoy the sites.  Kourtney is gonna try ice skating, that should be fun and interesting.  No, Tony and I are not going to try it, lol.  We will sip hot cocoa and take lots of pictures.  We also plan to go to Rockefeller Center and see the tree and the skaters there.  Also, the light show at Grand Central Station.  Just gonna sit back and enjoy the next few weeks, then we will decide what our goals for the New Year will be.  Thinking of going back to work, but not sure.  My neighbor had a baby in Sept and is going back to work, she wants me to take care of the baby.  Giving that some thought, but just not 100% sure yet.  Have to weigh the pros and cons.  Whatever I decide, I know the new year will be a great one.  I have a wonderful family and friends and know that is what is important.  The other stuff, jobs, money, yadda, yadda, that is just fluff.  Yes, we all need money to live, but do we really need all the crap we use the money for?  What we do need is love, faith, laughter, in other words, just live, love, laugh.  Until next time, have a wonderful day!!!!

My First Blog

Hello, welcome to my Blog.  This is very new to me, but I felt it was time.  I love facebook, but find it limits me when I really have things to say.  Yes, unfortunately, I have alot to say.  Anyway, this is going to be the place where I laugh, cry and share my life with those that care to be a part of it all.  Stay tuned, I have a feeling this is going to be a wild ride. 


Suzanne